Halvar & Clarence Inc.

Professional Problem Solvers

H&C Inc. offer the very best services in the fields of infiltration and extraction. We never settle for second best and neither should you.



H&C Inc. has your satisfaction as our top priority!

Why Contract Halvar & Clarence Inc?

S.M.A.R.T. METHODOLOGY

Slay Monsters And Ransack Treasure.

A forthright barbarian and a deep gnome thief.  A partnership made in one of the heavens, probably.  We can pick every lock, smash every obstacle and steal anything that ain't bolted down.  

Then bring it back as agreed?  Oh definitely...

STRATEGY & PLANNING
Every customer is unique. That’s why we customise each plan to fit your needs exactly. Whether it’s a dungeon clearance, monster eradication or a comprehensive program of destruction.  We’ll sit down with you, produce a meticulous plan and then wing it. 

You're in safe hands!

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

We always get the job done, 100% of the time, no matter the evil wizards that try and stop us.  We get the girl, the gold, the gems and the jewellery.  We'll probably keep a bit off the top and put the best gems on Halvar's axe... but hey! 


Are you still here?  Pay attention!

VIEW OUR CV's

A Partnership That Lasts Your Lifetime

We’ve completed more dungeons than you've had masturbations.

Killed dragons, liches, gods the lot.


Choose the best!

 Our experts will kill and steal for you...  maybe... as long as it's in our interests.


No sanctimonious clerics!

Our helplines are not open. Nobody likes a needy whiner making support calls. 


And no refunds!

Kobolds Killed

3,799

Dungeons Raided

270

Staff

2

Years in Business

35

 Meet the Team

“Wish I'd made a movie about this barbarian instead...”
Jason M, Hollywood

Sure, I'll do you a quote if my wife says it's ok!  What do you mean no ginger bitches?

Spare, Santa Barbara

“Halvar is more effective than my Dad!
JC, Jerusalem 

I think that little bastard stole my election!

Donald, Florida

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